Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Sad again

I cried a lot reading this. Silly of me to be so emotional. My whole internet history and my youtube favorites, and related videos are filled with 2pm videos that I saved over last few months. Because everytime I was tired and needed a break I watched them, now it's making me cry. I turned on my ipod after 2 days and it got to the middle of " I hate you" because that is the last song I played. I am so sad....it is slowly dawning on me that he left over something so LAME. I am sad because I like him so much but more than that I keep thinking what he must be going through...what did he think? losing so much for nothing....I want to hug him and tell him he rocks!!!

here is his friend's message...

" Hello this is Jaebeom's friend who was in the same class with him and I would like to share how Jaebeom lived at the time.
Jaebeom moved to study at our class for his 3rd year in high school. There was nothing special. I just heard that he was a JYP trainee from USA. I regarded him as an ordinary student. At first, he could not adjust himself to Korean cultures and barely spoke Korean. Jaebeom was not in acquaintance with friends and preferred to be alone. As time passed, he could finally get along with friends. We played basketball together. He seemed to be fond of physical education class the most. Since he had to part from his family and friends who he used to hang out and practiced dancing with in the States, he looked lonely at times. He was living by himself in a tough conditon as a trainee in Korea.

Jaebeom had a lot of things to do. He usually practiced singing during his free time or writing rap lyrics. He loved to go to the gym the most. I remembered inviting him for lunch but he rejected and only ate food with protein nourishment. How pity he was then. We were in the same basketball team. The friends in our class used to sing birthday songs to him. When we graduated, Jaebeom was trained full time at his company and one day he boasted to me that he was put into a group, 2PM and would be on national televisions. I knew that he worked so hard before he debuted with his first album.

Not only Jaebeom, I heard that all JYP trainees and staff also worked so hard. Even though Jaebeom had extreme tight schedules, during the second album promotion, he could come and join our alumni party. I was happy to see his confidence and shine coming from him which was different from the time he was still just a trainee where his future was in doubt. He told me that he liked Boom-hyung. Boom-hyung is a fun person who takes care of him so well. I knew that he was living a happy life at the time.

But, for the past few days, there were a controversial of Jaebeom's offending comments from his myspace. All those efforts he put were shattered in the blink of an eye. I tried to call him because I was so concerned. He told me he was at the airport and about to leave for USA. I asked if he'll ever come back. He said how could he when so many people hate him this much…

As a friend of Jaebeom, there is nothing I can do. I can only let him leave like that. His flight left at 6:30pm. I can only wish that he go back to have a better life with his family. Even in the US, I wish he still carry on and fulfill his dream. I would like to thank you all who loved my friend. Jaebeom Fighting!

"Now I think I have become a real Korean"
"I'm proud to be Korean"
"The Republic of Korea"
"Korean people are like stars, they dress so well comparing to me I dress like a pauper. Oh no, yes I am a pauper."
"I'm not familiar with English now, isn't it funny? Haha"
These messages were written by Jaebeom in 2006.

Looking at those messages, you can see that his attitude has changed.
He said he was proud to be Korean and he truly love Korea.

Please believe him.
Please don't judge him only by the message he wrote when he was a struggling trainee (4 years ago)
Please…"

All time favorite 2pm video..I saw this a long time ago and I knew it then that I would like them very much =(






Apart from this I am sad that my dad yelled at me. I really don't feel appreciated. That makes me sad. If it is because I am older than my siblings or because I am a daughter it doesn't make me feel any better.
Someday I would really like to go away from everything and truly do nothing......

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